This article explores the emotional impact of downsizing and offers practical tips from expert Katie Fitzpatrick to help ease the transition. With the right support and mindset, it can be a positive step towards a simpler, more fulfilling next chapter.
Moving from your family home to a retirement village is a significant life transition, often filled with mixed emotions.
It marks the end of one chapter, and the beginning of another.
For many older Kiwis, this shift is not just about less space - it’s about letting go of a lifetime of memories, routines, and familiar spaces.
At Village Guide, we know this move can be daunting.
In fact, it’s one of the most frequently raised topics in our conversations with retirees, particularly those moving from a house into a retirement village apartment.
We often hear that downsizing can stir up complex emotions: grief, relief, doubt, and anticipation. But we also know that with the right preparation, the transition can be an exciting – even fun – experience.
In this article, we’ll walk through the common emotional hurdles of downsizing, offer advice from professional decluttering expert Katie Fitzpatrick, and provide practical step-by-step tips to help you (or a loved one) make the move a little easier.
Why downsizing can feel so difficult
Your home holds more than furniture; it holds memories. Every photo on the wall, every drawer of mementos, is a connection to people, places, and moments that matter.
“It took about 12 months,” shared Cedric, now living in an Auckland village. “I had to get my head around… am I going to miss big spaces at home, the garage, mowing lawns, cutting hedges – which I liked.”
This can create a sense of emotional overwhelm, especially when combined with:
- Fear of losing your identity (homes often reflect who we are).
- Anxiety about unfamiliar surroundings.
- Sadness about letting go of treasured belongings.
Pressure to “get it done quickly” due to sales timelines or family expectations.
Katie Fitzpatrick, a professional moving and decluttering specialist, reassures us:
“Decluttering and downsizing have almost been fostered with the idea that your belongings are toxic – and they’re not. Everything is important. They make up who you are.”
The goal isn’t to strip away your history, but to honour it and carry forward only what truly supports your next chapter.
10 practical steps to make downsizing more manageable
1. Start with the right mindset
Katie advises starting when you're mentally and emotionally ready, and with the help of others.
“You’ll be making hundreds of decisions. Don’t do it alone. Bring in friends, family, or professionals who can support you without judgement.”
2. Focus on the essentials first
Begin with important documents and photographs. These are often the most valuable and emotionally significant items. Katie suggests storing them in plastic containers rather than cardboard to protect from damage.
3. Create a decluttering day
Give loved ones several weeks’ notice and make it an event.
“Say, we’re going to do it on Saturday, three weeks from now. Start at 10am. I’ll make a bacon and egg pie. Let’s make it fun.”
A communal, positive approach helps ease stress and keeps the day productive.
4. Only keep what you use or love
Haven’t used it in a year? Ask:
- Do I truly need it?
- Will I ever use it again?
- Is it worth the space it’s taking?
5. Say goodbye to other people’s stuff
If you’re storing your adult children’s belongings, now’s the time to set a deadline for them to collect their things.
Katie reminds us: “Any clutter you live with should not belong to others.”
6. Share the love
Don’t just throw things out; give them purpose.
“There are so many people who could benefit from what you no longer need. That’s why I say, share the love.”
7. Use the good china
Don’t let treasured items collect dust.
“The silver, the crystal, the china – use it! Or sell it and buy something you will love to use.”
8. Streamline your wardrobe
Start with this simple trick:
- When you wear an item, turn its hanger the opposite way.
- After a month or two, see what hasn’t been touched.
- Let those pieces go.
9. Clear the kitchen drawers
Katie recommends using a small box:
“Each time you use a utensil, place it in the box. After a few weeks, you’ll know what you really use and what can go.”
10. Commit to ongoing decluttering
Don’t let clutter build up again.
- Give everything a place.
- Spend 10 minutes each week putting things away.
- Avoid bringing new things in unless something else goes out.
Where to sell or donate items
Katie recommends:
- Local traders for valuable household items.
- Recycled clothing stores for quality clothes.
- Charities or community groups for donations.
How long does it take to downsize?
According to Katie, professional teams can pack in one day and move the next - but it depends on how much you have and how emotionally ready you are.
Starting early, even 6–12 months ahead, gives you more space to process and decide.
Settling into your new life
The move is just the beginning.
The settling-in period may come with mixed emotions. This is perfectly normal.
Tips for feeling at home:
- Personalise your space with photos and familiar objects.
- Join activities - but only at your own pace.
- Stay connected to family and friends outside the village.
“It took a few weeks,” said Joy, a resident now settled in a village. “But now we’re comfortable. It’s just far more relaxing and enjoyable.”
And remember, it’s okay to grieve the home you’ve left behind. That feeling reflects how much it meant to you - not that your decision was wrong.
A new chapter, not an ending
Downsizing doesn’t mean letting go of your identity - it means making space for what matters now.
“Everything we got rid of, I haven’t really missed,” Lynne, another resident we spoke to, reflected after her move. “And the longer we’re here, the more we think that.”
Everything you need to know.
Further reading
How you can move into a retirement village even if you’re having trouble selling your home
